Parent refuses to let 16-year-old daughter's boyfriend get her a promise ring: 'I was stunned but ultimately I told him no...16 is too young'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 15, 2026 5:00 PM EST

These 16-year-olds who are dating are already talking about a ring, much to the surprise of the teens' parents! 

At just 16 years old, these teens are in their first serious relationship. They come from different family backgrounds, but when you go to school with someone, those things don't seem to matter as much. You build a friend group together, have a few classes together (or a shared lunch period if you're lucky!), and try to hang out after school, too. You might envision a whole future with that person! But at such a young age, that just might not be realistic. 

Some people stay with their high school sweethearts forever. They get married, have a bunch of kids, and never leave their hometowns. That seems to work out well for a lot of people, honestly. But another large segment of that high school's graduating class is going to go off to different colleges across the US. No matter how much you promise to keep in touch with your friends and that boyfriend or girlfriend, college changes everything. 

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    Teen couple sit together and smile at each other.
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Teen couple sit together and smile at each other.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I have a 16 daughter. She is great in so many ways. She's a straight A student and a natural leader. She brings others together and isn't afraid to share her
    via u/LayerFantastic6596
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    opinion. One of my major frustrations is her relationship with her boyfriend. This is her first serious boyfriend. They have been dating for a year and a half. At
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    first he was kind and sweet and super respectful. As time has gone on I notice little one off comments that are concerning, but I also know I cannot
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    tell her who she can and cannot have a relationship with so I just work to build her confidence and talk to her about making good decisions. For
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    example he comes from a family where they spend a lot of money on name brand things and my family is a bunch of thrift store shoppers (we would
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    much rather spend our money on making memories). Also he talks trash on his friends and when he does I shut down the conversation with
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    "What would you do if you heard that person saying those same things about you?" This last fall her boyfriend had texted
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    me about wanting to get her a promise ring for Christmas. I was stunned but ultimately I told him no. I also explained to him that it doesn't mean that I don't
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    like him I just feel like 16 is too young to be making commitments that would affect the rest of your life. He did not like that and for weeks he told my
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    daughter how his parents had told him he shouldn't have even asked me. He told my daughter I want you to think about it from your own perspective and
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    not your parents. I have talked to my daughter about it as well to see how she feels about it and while she understands that she is young and
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    that life could change so much, she also loves her boyfriend so very much.
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    Edit: I should clarify my daughter does not want the promise ring and she has previously told her boyfriend SO.
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    Also our family incomes are pretty equivalent, however I have tried to teach her that she doesn't always need the next newest IPhone and that if she saves
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    that money she will be able to live more comfortably during hard times.
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  • At 16, these kids are probably not thinking about college just yet, but the boyfriend is thinking about giving his lady a promise ring. This parent's alarm bells started going off in their head after the BF approached them with the idea! 

    A promise ring means different things to different people. This kid seems to be effectively asking the daughter to marry him. However, alongside the parent's big reaction, the girlfriend literally doesn't want that ring. She's indicated that she knows there's a big world full of people out there once adulthood hits, and teenage relationships just might not be that serious. Just the fact that his GF rejected the ring should be enough to put this entire question to bed, but that doesn't seem to have dissuaded the boyfriend from bugging his GF and her family about it. Take the hint, pal! 

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    People had a wide variety of views on this. Some, like this person, thought the parent wasn't over reacting

    Initial_Trust_ NTA. I think the real issue is OP's daughter already saying she didn't want one, and the bf went ahead and moved forward with his plan anyway. It sounds like he asked OP, hoping OP would say yes, so when he gave her the ring he could say "your dad gave his blessing". Seems manipulative
    via u/Initial_Trust_
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    Eq... mean, this isn't your kid. You don't have to like it but you're not really in a position. to forbid the guy from buying a ring that honestly means nothing.
    via u/Equivalent_Lemon_319
  • 19

    Other people told this parent that this wasn't their business

    mistymorning YTA. "Commitments that affect the rest of their lives??" Lol it's a frickin ring from a teenager! It doesn't have any legal or moral obligation attached to it. You're blowing this way out of proportion. If he gave her a necklace or bracelet, would that be ok? It's the same thing.
    via u/mistym0rning

    If your kid is still a child, though, it kind of is their business. The BF asked the parent this question! Clearly, the parents are involved at least to some degree. 

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    You're making it seem as if this is an engagement ring. It's not that serious.
    via u/mistym0rning
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    Other people wondered if they were judging the BF too harshly

    ParticularPath7791 Small you are the AH. To be honest his parents are right. There was no need to ask you at all, he was just being respectful. It's not like he is proposing to her. It is just a promise ring that says he loves her. Doesn't mean they will end up married.
    via u/ParticularPath7791

    Just because teen boys are obnoxious at times, doesn't mean they're all bad dudes. 

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    Just a fyi tho the more you dislike him the more she will like him because well she is a teenager. Make sure she is on birth control and let the relationship take it's coarse.
    via u/ParticularPath7791
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    Also a 16 yr old talking crap about his friends and buying name brand clothes is pretty typical. I also think in life we have all talked crap about our friends at one point or another when they piss us off.
    via u/ParticularPath7791
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    FormSuccessful11... He shouldn't have asked you. You don't belong inside their relationship. And promise rings are silly anyway. They don't actually mean anything beyond "I love you." They're not booking a wedding venue. So yeah, YTA
    via u/FormSuccessful1122
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    Teen girl holds up promise ring.
    via Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash+

    Teen girl holds up promise ring. 

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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